There are more people who have experienced some form of trauma than there are people who haven’t. People who struggle with trauma often develop emotional or psychological blockages that prevent them from living their life to the fullest.
We learn to believe bad things about ourselves and the world when bad things happen to us. When your busy single Mom kept leaving you with a babysitter you learned: “I am unlovable.” That time you were sexually assaulted created the belief: “I am shameful.” These experiences, and ones like them, can leave a lasting mark on one’s psyche.
Children From Broken Families Need More Support
Children who experience multiple adversities; the children who experience the particularly damaging impact of child abuse and neglect and domestic violence; and the children who do not have supportive families who are able to provide appropriate care and responses, may have a different outcome to those who have not had past traumas in their lives.
Research has found that trauma during childhood is associated with developmental difficulties; mental health difficulties; physical health difficulties; substance abuse; and involvement with police and the justice setting. The majority of young people who are involved in the juvenile justice system have faced traumatic experiences and serious adversities. We take the qualities of the bad situation into ourselves rather attributing them to something external. It’s a matter of survival: if we are personally responsible for the situation, then we feel we have control.
Negative Beliefs Can Often Lead to Negative Behavior
Unfortunately, over time, these negative beliefs tend to hurt us more than they help: The negative beliefs often lead to behaviors that further reinforce the negative beliefs. “I am not good enough” leads her to avoid going for that job she wants; then she doesn’t get the job, which confirms that she’s not good enough.
“I can’t trust” makes them quick to react to a perceived slight; then the other person reacts in turn, which confirms that they were not to be trusted. “I’m not important” leads him to tolerate mistreatment in relationships, which confirms his lack of importance.
So what can you do about this bad belief baggage that’s holding you back? Can it be as simple as stating positive beliefs to yourself like “I am lovable” and “I’m a good person?” Unfortunately, as much as we would like it to be it’s not that easy.
To internalize lessons from positive experiences, we need a stable environment that doesn’t keep reinforcing the bad beliefs. Also, we need to heal the wound from the bad things that happened. An unprocessed traumatic memory’s sore spot drives negative beliefs and emotional reactivity that keep us feeling revved up, hyper-vigilant, and anxious. When your nervous system is busy fending off threats to your survival, you can’t also be in healing and recovering state.
Unlearn Automatic Thoughts
Two tools or resources that have been helpful to many people is NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focuses on unlearning irrational automatic thoughts. This can help you to diminish and tolerate your fear, but it takes a while and can be uncomfortable to go through. And after all that, it can still leave an unhealed psychological wound, or “sore spot,”.
In the simplest sense, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a tool that allows you to effectively ‘program’ your mind and brain, often using language as a primary basis. NLP also helps you focus on understanding the language of your mind so that you can work with it in a way conducive to healing.
Past traumas can feel like you are fighting shadows in the dark. No one else sees them. You feel like the world is against you and it is constantly an uphill battle to get anywhere. You are fighting against yourself.
Pamela L. Henderson is Proof That You Can Turn Things Around
But it doesn’t have to always be that way. You CAN come full circle. Pamela is proof of this. Back in 2010, Pamela was facing many personal challenges and obstacles. She fought to not only save her own life but that of her grandson as well. She experienced financial hardship and felt abandoned by loved ones.
Pamela came out the other side and is now inspiring young people to work through their trauma and limiting beliefs so they can reach their potential in life and achieve everything in life that they want.
If you would like to help Pamela and her team, All Roads 65 Max, to be able to support young people please leave a donation here for them Donate